Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Just to hold me over....

We were so blessed last night to get 2 new pictures of Judah! He has now been moved from his foster family back into the orphanage. I really feel for him right now, as that means that the turmoil in his little heart has begun. Leaving his foster family, which is really the only family he has ever known, is surely a difficult thing, for him and for them as well. I really hate this process sometimes. There is really nothing pretty about it. I just hate the idea of all these transitions in his little life. When stability is something so important to a developing child, he has to endure everything but that.

And next week, we cause yet another transition. While I am SO very excited to meet him and bring him into our family, I also feel a little twinge of guilt. I know in the long run, the change will be a good one. But in the short term, it kills me. I feel a little like a kidnapper. I read a blog post by another adoptive mama, (who also has a Jude, by the way!) which described it perfectly. The fear. The confusion. It makes me cringe to think that I might cause those feelings in him.

It's an exciting time right now, yes. But this time is also a little tainted. So, if you think about it, say a little prayer for my Judah....that he would have peace. That somehow, in his little toddler mind and heart, he would understand even a little bit of what is happening.....and that he'll be ok with it. That we would know how to comfort him. That the transition and bonding happen quickly. And mostly, that he would somehow know and understand, that we will never, ever leave him. That this is forever. And that he is loved.

Can't wait to share the rest of the story with you all from China. For now though, I think I better start packing...in 48 hours, we'll be on our way!

Oh, I almost forgot the pictures!! He was described as a "lively, cheerful, intelligent child, he is very good, and walking."


  1. Oh My is he ever cute!! And how is it that he already looks like he's part of your family? He just does. So excited for you guys and we'll be following your updates. Be safe, have fun, and when things get tough, remember that there's a whole bunch of friends and family back here praying for you!

  2. Cutest little man in all of China!

  3. That has to be one of the prettiest boys I've seen in a long time! Just precious!

  4. He is darling. and in the second picture looks a lot like Levi did at that age! He has a content face like Levi and Levi really is a happy joyful kid! I KNOW in my heart that you are going to be blown away by how amazing and special this boy is!!!

  5. He's precious! And already in love with sports :) We'll be praying he feels an instant connection with you and Rush.