An Inside Look at the Past Few Days

I have debated a lot about writing this post. Like I said before, I want to be honest and present reality on this blog, but I don't want to make it a whine-forum or just a place to complain. So, let me try to present a somewhat balanced look at the past few days.

I can't say enough again how amazing it felt to get home and see Jonah and Reagan. I will remember that moment as long as I live. It was like a breath of fresh air.

In my last post, I said that Rylie went to bed fairly easily on our first night home. I shouldn't have spoken so soon. She slept for about 3 hours, and as soon as Rush and I went to bed, she woke up.....screaming.....for 5 1/2 hours. And I don't mean she was just crying. I mean she was s-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g nonstop. Inconsolable. Nothing worked. Nothing. She doesn't respond to anything you would typically expect a child to respond to in terms of comfort measures. Not walking, not rocking, not rubbing her back, not talking, nothing. Add that on top of the travel exhaustion we were experiencing and it was miserable. She finally fell asleep again about 5:30 in the morning and slept for a while until we decided to wake her up to try to get her schedule adjusted from the 12 hour time change.

Sunday got worse. She was pretty clingy, as I would expect. However, Jonah and Reagan wanted to play with her, and she wanted nothing to do with either one of them for the most part, nor anything to do with any toy she didn't play with in China. She is still weird about stuff....you offer her a toy, even a blanket, and she screams in terror. Then, all hell broke loose. We brought Bailey, our dog home. Now, let me just say that Bailey is the sweetest dog on the planet. She has not messed with Rylie at all. Nothing. However, Rylie is TERRIFIED. She screams and shakes in complete fits of terror. She ran straight into the corner of a dresser trying to get away from the dog who was nowhere near her. At this point, unless Bailey is outside or in her crate, we cannot even set Rylie down. She freaks out. In fact, Bailey can be in her crate but if Rylie sees her in it she looses it. It's very frustrating.

We went to Jonah's baseball game in the afternoon and she was ok for the most part while we were there. In fact, every time we have left the house she has been ok. We took her and Reagan to the play area at the mall yesterday and she ran around and played. Today we went to Target and she was fine. But at home, forget about it.

She's still fighting sleep a lot. She will do everything in her willpower to keep herself awake. Rush was up with her a lot last night. She woke up at 1:15, 2:15 and then for good at 3am. We have moved her into her bed in Reagan's room, and have had better success than the Pack-n-Play in our room.

She is still having tantrums to the point I am worried she is going to get a head injury. She just flings her body without regard to where she is or what she's going to hit. And it happens in response to the smallest things. Rush was holding her and just tried to readjust how he was holding her, which she didn't like. She flung herself, he was unprepared, and she hit the ground...with her head. That's happened multiple times. She can be so volatile, it's difficult to know how to prepare for that.

We are looking forward to making some progress soon....we hope.

Now, there are a few positive things. Like I said, she's been great when we go places. She is still learning signs. She knows more, eat, milk, ball, mom, dad, please, thank you, cracker, and maybe one or two others, which I think is pretty darn impressive considering she didn't hear any English until a few short weeks ago. She is seeming attached pretty well to Rush and I (especially Rush). She is slowly starting to look at other toys and interact some with Jonah and Reagan. She is eating well. We finally found a cup that works for her. We made an appointment to see the Pediatrician on Friday to get things checked out, and soon we will call the Cleft and Craniofacial Clinic about getting her checked out for surgery. Baby steps is the name of the game I guess.

Jonah and Reagan are doing ok. They are both being SO sweet to Rylie. I am so proud of them, although I know they are frustrated because she isn't responding the way they expected. I was trying to talk to Jonah about it last night, and he was very sweet about everything, but asked why she cries so much. He said "It's annoying." I can't really blame him for thinking that. They probably think we are nuts for bringing this crazy little basketcase into our home.

We are trying to remain optimistic. We know that a few months down the road, we will be pleased at her progress. That's partly why I wanted to write this post.....so I can remind myself how far we've come in a few months. For now though, we're trying to survive hour to hour. Rush went through a little emotional thing while we were in China....I'm going through it now. It's good that we can flip flop back and forth a bit and pick up the slack when the other is having a hard time. I think we've been a good team so far. We never thought this would be an easy process....but we definitely underestimated how difficult it would be.