I have to admit, I've been away from my blog on purpose. Because blogging and reading blogs makes me think of adoption. And recently I haven't wanted to think about adoption. It's been too hard. It's a lot easier to just go through my day-to-day and NOT think about Jude. Or at least TRY not to think about Jude. I really didn't want to think much about him, because the past few months, waiting for China to officially approve our request to adopt him, has been tough. There is so little about adoption that is in your control....we learned that much with Rylie....but it still drives me crazy. And knowing that you have to just sit....and wait.....and wait....and wait for an approval that might come this week, or in two months from now, just makes me insane. So I guess my way of dealing with it has been to not deal with it.
That is, until a few weeks ago.
Rylie's 3rd birthday was December 15. That day just so happened to be Jude's half-birthday as well. For whatever reason, that day just set me off. I had been patiently waiting on China. But that day, my baby, who I couldn't be with, turned 18 months old. And I just felt the sense of him getting older and older....while we just waited and waited.....and it suddenly just became HARD to wait any longer. Hard to not know exactly where he was (we heard a rumor he was in foster care). Hard to not know if he was gaining weight (he was SO tiny when we got his file). Hard to not know if he was thriving. Hard to not know how much longer it would be until we could bring him home. Hard to hear silence. Hard to have no updates. Hard to have no new pictures. Just HARD.
So, I got desperate. I felt like I was at the end of my rope. I just had to find out something.
I'll spare the details. But I think God took pity on my and how crazy I had become.
Friday, December 30, I got a call from our agency. Our approval was here.
I worked that night. 3 new pictures came in an email. He looked awesome. And happy, and healthy. 20 pounds almost! In just a few short months, he gained about 6 pounds!!!
It was just what I needed. To see his face....no longer with sunken eyes, and scrawny limbs. But a full, smiling face with huge dimples....it was the best possible way to end the year! God is so good and loves so extravagantly!
So, let me share his pictures! :)
I love this kid so much already! He has grown so much. And while part of that makes me sad at what we've missed, it makes me thankful that the prayers we pray for him every night are so obviously heard.
Hopefully we will travel in March or April to bring him home!! Up next comes more paperwork and more waiting for approvals (US Immigration approval, a few other things I won't bother to explain, and finally, Travel Approval from China).
Finally, I have to share this worksheet Jonah did for school. How awesome! My heart is full.
Precious drawing!! He is such a doll! Can't wait for you to bring him home!!
ReplyDeleteVERY cute and healthy boy you have there!!!! (dimple dimple, need I say more?)
ReplyDeleteAnd, AWWWW! What a sweet page that Jonah wrote. That needs to be duplicated and kept in many places, including Judah's scrapbook/baby-book! And what a great artist. Many treasures for sure... Thank you LORD!
Jenn